Seemed off.
The point of reviewing is to be honest so honestly I didn't like how it sounded overall. It had great moments and potential but it seemed to have really sharp sections that didn't blend too smoothly together and was a bit juttered.
I did like each part by itself, and your voice redeems it and makes up for the other bits that lacked. I'd love to hear a piano version of it and look forward to your next contribution.